Marriage counseling has helped to stitch many broken marriages back together, while making life easier for everyone involved. When a marriage breaks down, there is a lot of anger, bitterness and trust issues where there used to be love and respect. Couples begin to see the worst of each other.
They begin to hate the ground that their former loved one walks on. When this happens, it can trigger increased levels of stress and anxiety for the couple, and it can also trigger more serious problems for their children.
Marriage Counseling
We know that children from broken homes are more likely to suffer from mental health disorders. This is often dismissed as a myth, and the ones dismissing it are usually the ones who want it to be a lie. They want to justify the anger in their relationship, they don’t want to be blamed for potential problems in their child’s life. But it’s true—any time a marriage breaks down, any time a relationship that was once built on love turns into loathing, the children are at risk of being influenced and developing problems at a later age.
To give your child the best chance of avoiding becoming a statistic, parents need to stay together. If there is still love and respect in the relationship, then this is still attainable and it’s a goal that a marriage counselor will work towards. However, a child of parents who have gone through an amicable divorce and remain friends is still less likely to develop issues than a child who has suffered through an hostile breakdown of their parents’ marriage.
In either case, a marriage counselor can help. And it’s not just about children. Adults get stressed, adults experience trauma. Anyone who has been through bitter divorce can attest to the increased levels of anxiety and stress, not to mention sleepless nights, drug problems and God knows what else. So, a friendly marriage, whether it’s one that is destined to thrive for eternity or end in a matter of weeks, is better for everyone involved.
Does Marriage Counseling Work?
It is said that 33 people file for divorce everyday in Orange County alone. Many of these seek marriage counseling first. And that’s because the goal of these therapists, such as our own marriage counselors in Anaheim, CA, is not just to get the couple back together. If they decide that there is no love and no hope left in a relationship, then they will not try and force the couple back together.
Sometimes, it’s just not meant to be. Marriage counselors understand this. They know that sometimes a couple will cause more problems if they remain together. Those problems will impact on their lives and it will also impact on the lives of their families and even their children.
In such cases, a marriage counselor will simply look to make the relationship friendly and amicable once more. When the anger and bitterness has gone, they can look to resolve things with a clear head. They may decide that a divorce is the best course of action. In this case, the counselor will help them through. They will ensure that the divorce is friendly and that there is no bitterness that ends up dragging them both into angry disputes and leaving their children in disarray.
Marriage Counseling Question: What Happens in a Session?
The first step for any session is to make sure that the couple are comfortable and relaxed. That way, the counselor can get them to open-up about their problems. And that, in essence, is what marriage counseling is all about.
A feuding couple struggles to openly discuss their issues. When one person announces something that frustrates them about the other person, or when they voice their concerns, the other person can see it as threat. Even when a couple in this state agrees that there is an issue and then tries to talk about it themselves, it nearly always ends in a dispute.
So, the marriage counselor will first play the role of referee as everything is laid on the table. They will then look to find solutions. They’ll never take sides, and instead they will suggest options that both parties can agree on. They can also help to address issues such as substance abuse problems (heroin, alcohol), mental illness and anything else that is causing problems in the marriage.
Marriage Counselors Near Me
There is no shortage of marriage counselors here in the United Staes. But it’s important to choose wisely, and not just to take the first option that comes up when you punch the words “marriage counselors near me” into Google. Those results aren’t based on the organizations that offer the best service or have the highest qualified therapists. They aren’t even always based on the service that is closest.
Many therapists calling themselves “marriage counselors” have very few qualifications and little actual medical training. It doesn’t take a great deal to call yourself a counselor and to offer these kinds of services. Many of these services are genuine and they do good work. But there are also ones out there that charge a lot of money and don’t have the credentials to back it up.
Also, while a therapist can provide a worthwhile service, they are very limited in what they can do. Be specific, take time to study the qualifications of the person you choose, and never hand over any money until you are sure they are qualified and that they can help.
Divorce Rate: USA and Worldwide
In the west, divorce is more common than it is elsewhere. The average across the United States is between 40% and 50% when you focus on first time marriages. The average for second marriages and beyond is above 60%, while the average across the board is 53%. This is one of the highest rates in the world. It is greater than most of South America, and of similar cultures like those in Canada, Australia and the United Kingdom.
However, it is not the biggest in the world. That “honor” goes to a number of European countries, where the divorce rate is greater than 60%. These include Hungary and Spain. In fact, one of them, Belgium, has a staggering divorce rate of over 70%. The divorce rate in the state of California is over 60% and is one of the highest in the US.
Signs of Divorce: Why Do People Divorce?
Sometimes, people get married too soon. They mistake feelings of lust for love. They don’t give the relationship time to grow before they sign on the dotted line. And they don’t always know the person they are married to before they get married either. What’s more, substance abuse problems and gambling addictions—two things that can kill any marriage—are on the rise across the United States.
All of this goes someway to explaining why there are more divorces than ever before across the country. In the United States, nearly 1 in every 2 marriages will end in divorce. In California alone, the rate is higher, at 60%. For people experiencing issues such as those mentioned above, they can use marriage counseling as a way to fix them and to get back on track.
These specialists, such as our marriage counselors in San Diego, CA, will attempt to fix any problems that occur. They will reconnect the couple and breakdown any barriers that have been built. It is common for dueling couples to stop communicating as they did and as they should still do. Rather than talking openly about their problems, voicing their concerns and helping to fix the issues that have arisen, they shout, they bicker, and they just make the situation worse when they are trying to resolve it.
Divorce Mediation: Does Marriage Counseling Help All Marriages?
However, not all marriages can be saved, and the goal of the therapist offer marriage counseling is merely to open a dialogue, to make the relationship friendly again, and to determine the course of action that is best for everyone.
In San Diego, the divorce rate is actually dropping. It’s one of the few cities that has a declining divorce rate and it shows that San Diego marriage counselors are helping to bring people together. But they also know that sometimes divorce is the best course of action.
When there is no love. When the couple don’t feel anything for one another and it is clear they never will, then the meditation aspect of marriage counseling becomes even more important. They will look to create an atmosphere that is conducive to open conversation and discussion. They will suggest possible courses of action and they will let the couple come to the conclusion themselves that divorce may be the only solution.
By doing this, San Diego marriage counselors may be increasing the divorce statistics, but they will also be helping to make life easier for the couple involved, as well as for their children. After all, many marriages remain together for the children, but when there is no love in a relationship, when there is only anger, jealously, bitterness, betrayal and other negative emotions, it creates a hostile and negative environment. And no child should be raised in an environment like that.
Substance Abuse and Marriage Counseling: Divorcing An Addict
Substance abuse and marriage don’t mix. This is something backed up by studies and the research of official organizations, but something that is also supported by common sense. A substance abuser thinks about their drug of choice every minute of every day. They spend their time making sure they have enough of it and they do everything they can to get it when they run out.
In that way, drug addiction is a very selfish act. In a marriage, your partner should be the main person in your life. By using drugs, you’re devoting your attention, your time and even your love to a substance that will only harm you, a substance that may turn you into a person that your partner doesn’t like and a substance that threatens to cut your life short.
Substance abuse is a disease that threatens all marriages. It is something that breaks two into one, something that turns a loving couple into a selfish individual. Basically, it goes against everything that marriage stands for. That’s why substance abuse and marriage just don’t mix and it’s why so many substance abusers suffer a breakdown in their marriage.
If your marriage has broken down as a result of substance abuse problems, you may decide that an addiction psychiatrist is the best course of action. And you would be right.
Marriage Counseling San Diego
The rates of divorce in this city are decreasing. It is one of the biggest regions for divorce in the country, which is why so many people from this area are looking for marriage counseling in San Diego and why we have addressed this very specific issue in this section.
There are many factors for this, but the main one is that so many married couples are now seeking help. We think this is great. It’s great to know that more and more people are seeking help and that the majority are getting the help they need.
However, it’s important to take your time when looking for such a service. Don’t go with the first one that comes up when you Google “Marriage Counselors Near Me”. Don’t choose one just because it is the nearest. There are so many marriage counselors near San Diego, CA, and within the city itself. You have a lot of options to choose from and because the demand is high, there is no shortage of highly qualified specialists at your disposal.